Fern Perry

Experience

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  Global Freeway

  Jun 1999 - Nov 2000

  Project Manager

  Being a project manager in a tech company without knowing anything about tech was like leading a mission to Mars armed with nothing but a map of the moon. I navigated through the binary jungles and coding canyons with the grace of a confused flamingo in zero gravity. My expertise lay in deciphering technical jargon by imagining it a secret language of aliens communicating in emojis. I held meetings where developers passionately discussed algorithms, and I nodded along like a wise sage, secretly wondering if algorithms were just the nerdy cousins of algebraic hieroglyphics. My primary toolkit included a magic 8-ball and a lucky rubber duck, essential for nodding knowingly during discussions about cloud architecture. Despite my lack of tech wizardry, I led with the confidence of someone who believed Ctrl+Alt+Del was the secret handshake of the programming elite. Welcome to the tech jungle, where I, the fearless tech-illiterate project manager, boldly went where no non-techie had gone before – probably in the wrong direction! Global Freeway was the first free ISP in Australia. My role was to act as a Project Manager, to oversee the successful roll out of the products. Acting as a liaison between upper management and the creative and technical teams, tracking project progress, identifying problems and solutions and providing team communication. Show less

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  Wards Solicitors

  Jan 2001 - Jan 2004

  Legal Assistant

  Working part-time in a conveyancing law firm as an assistant was like being the superhero of paperwork, armed with a mighty pen and the incredible ability to decipher the ancient language of legalese. I navigated the treacherous seas of contracts and documents, where every misplaced comma was a potential landmine, waiting to explode into a grammatical catastrophe. My cape may not have been as flashy as a superhero's, but was my trusty cardigan that doubled as a shield against the chill of over-air-conditioned office debates on the proper use of semicolons. Some days, I felt like the unsung champion of the photocopier, valiantly battling paper jams and toner shortages. Other days transcription was my mighty sword. Transcribing in a law firm is like playing detective with a keyboard – deciphering lawyer-speak and turning cryptic solicitor exchanges into a language even the office coffee machine can understand. This job was a part-time gig, whilst undertaking my own law degree and solicitor training. Show less

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  Blue Marlin Dive

  Feb 2004 - Jul 2009

  General Manager

  Being the manager of a dive resort and its motley crew was like trying to organise an underwater ballet with a bunch of excitable dolphins, who may or may not have consumed too much caffeine. I played the role of the maestro, attempting to maintain order in a world where the staff debates whether sharks have a secret handshake and the maintenance team insists on checking the seaweed for signs of conspiracy. My daily agenda involved deciphering dive instructor hand signals, settling disputes over who gets to name the newest reef resident, and convincing the kitchen staff that seashell pasta does not count as a legitimate dive fuel. It was a managerial dance where I balanced between being the voice of reason and the facilitator of 'fin-tastic' tomfoolery. Management of the dive centre, retail store, bar and restaurant for this successful resort in Gili Trawangan, was a learning curve of note. When not facilitating madness in the office I was to be found underwater myself, trying to convince dive students to embrace underwater acrobatics while wearing a superhero cape made of neoprene – because nothing says "I'm ready for the ocean" like doing somersaults with a school of fish! Show less

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  Lutwala Dive Resort

  Jul 2009 - Oct 2022

  Business Owner

  Running a successful dive resort on a tropical island was like orchestrating an underwater circus – I was the ringmaster, and the ocean, my big top tent filled with quirky marine performers. Guests arrived expecting an aquatic extravaganza, and I assured them our resident clownfish had been practicing their bubble-blowing routines just for their amusement. The daily schedule involved convincing people that the mysterious shadow they saw wasn't a sea monster but probably just Dave, the laid-back sea turtle, catching some rays. My job was to make sure the guests felt more at home in a wetsuit than in their own living rooms, and that the only thing deeper than the ocean was the laughter echoing from the beach bar. It was a wild ride, where I played the part of the chief mermaid wrangler. Lutwala Dive Resort was created and developed on the island of Gili Trawangan in Indonesia. I owned, designed, built and developed this business from the purchase of land, through to its successful sale as an ongoing dive centre/hotel/bar/restaurant. Show less

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  Nomad Africa Adventure Tours

  Oct 2010 - Sept 2020

  Nomad Africa Dive Tours

  Crafting tours that seamlessly blended scuba diving with African safaris was like orchestrating a wildlife water ballet on nature's grand stage. I'm the travel choreographer, trying to convince adventure enthusiasts that the savannah and the sea are the ultimate dynamic duo. Picture this: one day, you're submerged with schools of fish doing their underwater tango, and the next, you're on safari, watching lions practicing their roar for the next season of the animal kingdom's top talent show. It's a carefully choreographed spectacle where the elephants are the backstage crew, the giraffes are the audience, and the hippos are the surprise comedians, photobombing every scenic shot. My job involved ensuring that guests didn't confuse their diving fins with safari hats, and convincing them that the wildebeests were not just practicing synchronised swimming in the Serengeti. The idea was the creation and operation of dedicated dive and safari tours for international groups of divers. This was my project from inception of concept through to tour itinerary creation, marketing, advertising and sales. Working both with agents and through direct sales, these tours were promoted online, at dive and travel expos around the world, and through the Nomad Africa network. My role was to fully develop the product, sell and run these tours and oversee all aspects of the successful running of these tours. Show less

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  Self-employed

  Jul 2020 - now

  Vacation Rental Owner

  Owning and managing vacation rental properties is like being the mayor of a tiny, unpredictable village where the residents are a revolving door of thrill-seekers and accidental comedians. I play the role of the hospitality wizard, trying to ensure that the Wi-Fi is as fast as a cheetah on red bull and the pillows are fluffier than a marshmallow cloud. It's a delicate dance of providing impeccable service while secretly praying that guests don't discover the hidden stash of mismatched mugs in the back of the kitchen cabinet. My daily routine involves playing detective to find out who left a questionable-looking sock behind and channeling my inner diplomat to resolve any disputes over the coveted TV remote. So, if you ever dream of being the proud owner of a holiday haven, just be prepared to wear the hat of a part-time comedian, detective, and pillow fluffer extraordinaire!Navigating the world of sales and bookings for vacation rentals is like being the smooth-talking matchmaker for a bizarre love affair between travellers and properties. I'm the cupid armed with brochures instead of arrows, attempting to make potential guests swoon over the idea of spending their holidays in a place that's more appealing than a beachside hammock on a Monday. I pitch vacation homes with enthusiasm, convincing people that the panoramic views come with complimentary daily doses of sunshine and instant happiness. It's a delicate balance of persuasion and charm, trying to make a booking sound more enticing than a lifetime supply of free Wi-Fi and a bottomless pit of snacks. Show less

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  Freelance

  Aug 2023 - now

  Freelance Executive Assistant

  Being a good assistant is a bit like being a ninja in business attire! I gracefully navigate the treacherous terrain of tasks, silently conquer the mountains of emails, and execute secret missions of productivity with the precision of a caffeinated cat on a keyboard. My superpower? I can summon information faster than a toddler can create chaos in a room. Whether it's juggling deadlines or decoding the mysteries of an executive's handwriting. I am the unsung hero, the unsolicited comedian, and the reigning champion of turning chaos into coordinated chaos. So, if you ever need someone to save the day or just make you snort with laughter, I'm your trusty sidekick in the adventure of productivity – or at least, a decent attempt at it. As an executive assistant you have to be able and willing to dive in to whatever is needed. From travel arrangements and calendar management, to emails and phone calls. Coordinating meetings, taking notes, typing documents and dealing with staff issues are all within the purview of my job. Budgets, receipts, finance reports and cost tracking. Above all else - if you need to organise your life, that's me. Deadly from a thousand paces with a list and the willingness and ability to use it! Show less

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  NovoScuba

  Feb 2024 - now

  Vice President of Business Development